I’m really sorry you’re going through this. Losing a family member is one of the deepest kinds of grief; it impacts your sense of family, and makes your feel as though the future was taken from you. There’s no “right” way to handle it, but here are some approaches that can genuinely help:
1. Accept The Grief: It Likely Comes in Waves
You might feel shock one moment, anger the next, then numbness. All of that is normal. Don’t pressure yourself to “move on” or feel a certain way. Grief isn’t linear — it loops.
2. Keep Your Loved One present in healthy ways
People often find comfort in:
- Looking at photos when it feels right
- Talking about her with someone who knew her
- Writing down memories so they don’t fade
- Carrying on a tradition she loved
Remembering her isn’t the same as being stuck — it’s honoring the bond.
3. Talk to someone who can hold the conversation
Not everyone knows what to say, but you need people who can sit with you in the pain. This could be:
- A close friend
- A family member
- A grief support group
Even a few conversations can remove the feeling of being alone in your loss.
4. Don’t Fight the Physical Side of Grief
You might feel:
- Exhaustion
- Appetite changes (Managing Diet & Exercise)
- Difficulty focusing
Your body is grieving too. Rest, hydration, and gentle structure help more than people expect.
5. Give Yourself Permission to Experience Joy without Guilt
When you smile again for the first time, it might feel wrong — but it isn’t. Grief makes room for joy slowly. Feeling moments of light doesn’t mean you’re forgetting her.
6. Create Meaning Rather than Trying to “get over it”
Meaning can come from:
- Doing something she cared about
- Supporting a cause that mattered to her
- Writing her a letter
- Creating something in her memory
Meaning won’t remove the pain, but it can make the pain more bearable.
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